It's been a year

Wow. It's been more than a year since I last posted on here and I feel disappointed in myself for being so distant and detached from my readers. So I apologise. A quick update is in order I think. This past year, I've been studying at the University of Bath. It's an exceptionally beautiful city, so very different from that of London, where I've bee brought up. Love my course loads (Economics), however there were times when I questioned whether this was what I wanted. I still waver even now, however with more research and a deeper understanding, I have decided this is perhaps what I am best suited for. But I guess only time will tell.

With every year that passes, the pressure for knowing what I want to pursue in life amounts, so many questions come to the surface. Questions I ask myself over and over again and sometimes I can't sleep thinking about it. I'm getting older, I need to enter a good profession, I need to have the money to support myself without my parents, money for food, water, shelter, money for miscellaneous things, for things that aren't a necessity. Am I good enough to get through the interviews? Perhaps I should have got off my lazy ass and applied for internships?! I keep thinking my life will end at 30, which is preferably the age I wish to have at least one child by, how the hell am I going to support them?!? It's just so scary to think I only have a decade left to do what I want, to get as far up the ladder as possible. What a ridiculous thought right? But I'll be honest. I'm scared. Petrified of entering a job, of losing the freedom and security I've embraced thoughtlessly throughout my studies.

I've got so many plans, so many different routes I would love to pursue, would I ever be able to do them all? I've got to decide, but this is proving highly difficult. I'm quite indecisive, and I jump from idea to idea, expanding as I go, and soon I find myself completely overwhelmed and lost in the process. There's so many positive and negative sides to things that one barely outweighs the other enough to make an informed decision.  However, I have found, money is the one thing that is important to me. It is the one thing that has a large enough impact on me for me to decide. Some may find this low and small minded, but I find, it is one of the most important. I would like to be able to live comfortably by my own means and eat and buy whatever I wish, within reason, without having to worry about cost. Wouldn't that be a wonderful feeling? You must surely agree. I know it may not bring happiness, as cliched as that sounds, but it'll bring security, something I treasure a lot.

This has been quite a heavy post, and I apologise to my readers for the rant but I did want to release what I have been pondering about for some time. It's nice to see it written out, sort of helps me settle my thoughts.
On a lighter note, my art has suffered quite a bit this last year, however it will be improved. I've done several sketches here and there but nothing solid as of yet, however the monthly dosage of ImagineFX has been exceptionally insightful and inspirational. I've got quite a few large projects planned so stay tuned my lovelies. It's nice to talk again.

Much love and signing off,
K.Y.T
22.7.11
01:32

Letting go...

Hey guys =D
Just said goodbye to my Sumy on the phone and it's occurred to me that DAMN...I should be in the car behind her going to Bath too. Sad times.
BUT. no regrets. no regrets allowed in this life. It's too short for that. Only look forward and pray this detour on the straight path I was travelling on leads me to a better, more exciting place. This reminds me of the game, Snakes and Ladders. You gus still have the old board game from decades ago?? haha. Landed on the wrong box and steped foward one while taking 2 steps back.

The laptop is about to burn a hole into my mattress.....>_<"

I've been having a mega Disney saga lately. Downloaded the sountracks of the classics and it's actually given me so much inspiration. Done quite a lot of sketches....coming up with new compositions.
Now all I need is to improve my anatomy and background work and I'm set. So cross fingers?? I'm still trying to sieve out a style that I'm fairly comfortable with and work it all out from there. Then I can start selling and stuff. HOPEFULLY. That is afterall the plan for the rest of the year.

NOTE. I'm slowly withering away. The personal statement has never been more a monster in my entire life. It's actually come back with more rigour and fight in it than I last remembered. It's haunting me. O_O"
I don't know why I'm finding it so difficult to lay down what I want to say. I guess I'm not good at expressing myself formally to others. sigh.
I WANT TO GO TO BATH. I swear down..I said I wouldn't regret...but bloody hell it's getting harder everyday. But I guess the good part is I have  free year (half year cause of retakes) and I can concentrate on the art that I've been negleting for these last few years. Soooo bare haps there =D

Well...I guess it's time I get back to it. It's late...but I've been procrastinating again and damn I just wanna send it off ASAP. So ta my lovelies.

Update soon....I promise...hopefully haha.
Much lavvv
K.Y.T
26.9.09
01:43